When my half-brothers were born in 2012 and 2015, I took the second parent role with little resistance. I wanted to be the emotional protector and teacher I needed but never got.

As the eldest, you become something more than a sister—you become a stand-in parent, a steady presence where guidance is assumed rather than chosen.

When my younger sister was born, I remember being told at such a young age that I had this new responsibility of taking care of my sister and being someone she could look up to. But at the time, I don’t think I fully understood this new role.

As eldest daughters, we were expected to step up as role models, something that some of us may not have grown out of yet. Learn more on ways to renegotiate your role so you can just be a part of your family, rather than constantly shouldering a load of responsibility.

If you’re feeling stuck like I did throughout my twenties, then I encourage you to keep an open mind and explore opportunities you wouldn’t have entertained before. Even if you’re not immediately successful in finding love, I guarantee you’ll also find new, maybe even different, friends outside your circle or like-minded people to add to your community. After all, building community starts there, and who knows, your next partner may be just around the riverbend.